Inner Child Healing

Inner Child Healing is a powerful healing and therapeutic technique for Reprogramming the Subconscious Mind using Hypnotherapy. Under Hypnosis, you not only get to access deeply repressed memories, even womb memories at times, but also you can Detox your system of stored trauma, abuse and fearful memories and their emotions through gradual Somatic Release. Otherwise, these emotions run our lives, we live in a state of hyper-vigilance or numbness (depression), and soon we succumb to dysfunctional behaviours, addictions, relationships and various physical and mental health issues. It is valuable when we want to overcome dysfunctional childhood patterns and baggage of pain, sorrow, trauma and abuse —physical, emotional or sexual. Further, if you have experienced dysfunctional parenting or family life – and experienced parental manipulation, control (dominance), aggression or passive aggression, negative self-beliefs, neglect, abuse or abandonment (early loss of a parent or sibling) – Inner Child Healing could be way forward towards healing, peace and fulfilling relationships and Conscious Parenting. Thus you get to break the cycle of Generational trauma. Since all our childhood memories are stored deep in the Subconscious Mind, this makes hypnosis a perfect tool to access, heal and release. Thereafter you retrain your mind, for better, empowered responses to the same life situations that trigger us. Just as Hypnosis has been used for decades now for training the mind into Peak performance for sports people or alleviating the fear of public speaking, you can also build your inner scaffolding in the Mind, to support your external goals. Inner Child Healing is a collaborative process between you and the therapist, it is as much effective as you participate and integrate your fragmented self into the creation of a new You! Here you gain not just insights but also tools to take on your healing journey forward. The more you practice, the more you become free! Are you game for it?

History

Ever since its advents of concept in the 1970s, Inner Child Healing has literally been a lifesaver for millions of people, who have been otherwise stuck in addictions, dead-end jobs and relationships, issues of self-harm, self-sabotage and yes self-destruction. Though first suggested by Carl Jung, who talked about the Divine Child Archetype and Emmet Fox (wonder child), Inner Child Healing as we know now started taking shape in decades following the 1970s.

What is the Inner Child?

Each one of us, has two archetypal personalities, The Adult and the Child. The Inner Child or our emotional self is our childlike aspect. It brings out our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, playfulness and creativity. Inner Child Healing is a powerful healing and therapeutic technique of hypnotherapy used to overcome dysfunctional childhood patterns and baggage of emotional wounds, failures, fears, trauma and abuse – physical, emotional or sexual. Further, if you have experienced dysfunctional parenting or family life – and experienced parental manipulation via their victimhood stories or narcissism, control (dominance), aggression or passive aggression, negative self-beliefs, dismissive or critical behaviour, neglect, abuse or abandonment (early loss of a parent or sibling) – Inner Child Healing could be way forward towards healing, peace and fulfilling relationships. Since all our childhood memories are stored deep in the Subconscious Mind, this makes hypnosis a perfect tool to access, heal and release, which goes hand in hand with traditional talk therapy. How we were treated as children, we end up treating others the same way — often unknowingly. Intellectualisation, numbing out, addictions and workaholism are coping mechanisms, that never let us fully heal, or lead a healthy life. Only when we are ready to feel, we are ready to heal. The wounds we don’t heal in ourselves, we end up passing them on to the next generation. Worse still, we spend the rest of our days playing the same shadow games our parents did, to gain what they didn’t get in their childhood — love, care, affection, approval, power or control. Thus begins the Shadow play for our various dysfunctional parts, which show up repeatedly — at the workplace and in relationships. Why? Because life is a mirror of our inner truths. If we don’t like what we see, fighting with the mirror image is as futile as fighting our shadows. Shadowwork is the only way to change the image within. Thus we can truly understand and overcome our inner conflicts and make peace with ourselves. The Child The Child is one of our four main Survival archetypes: Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur. The Child is also our Emotional Self and tells us how we look at life and perceive life events. Issues of safety, survival, nurture, loyalty, and family and tribe all are rooted in the Inner Child. Often established in the Root Chakra or in some cases, the lower three chakras. Various forms of the Child can be Wounded Child, Abandoned child, Neglected Child, Orphan Child, Dependent child, Lost child, Invisible Child, and through healing it can mature to become the Nature Child, Magical or Wonder Child and finally the Divine Child – knows that he or she is, in fact, a child of God. That is the journey of evolving Child archetype in each one of us. Starting from childish behaviour in adults, tantrums, sabotage, self-destruction and sulking, and developing to childlike — innocent, creative, quick to bounce back and playfulness, regardless of age, is the hallmark of a healthy Inner child. The Wounded healer archetype also begins with the wounded child. The primary task in developing Inner Child archetypes is finding balance in dependency and responsibility: when to take responsibility for our life situation, when to have a healthy dependency, when we can stand up to the group, and when to embrace public life and contribute to society. Or we may become over-responsible and develop co-dependent relationships, which again is a dysfunctional Inner Child on an overdrive.

Do I need Inner Child Healing?

Most of our behavioural problems and triggers have origins in memories of early childhood, even teenage. Here’s a quick checklist for Signs of Childhood Trauma, Abuse, Abandonment or Neglect are Inner Child Issues in Adults:

• Low Self-esteem, trust issues, Self-critical, negative self-talk, Self-hate and Self-harm. Fear of external disapproval or rejection, Constantly seeking external approval
• Low self-confidence, lack of recognition, money issues, self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviour, self-harm. Stuck in fulfilling parents’ dreams, and unfulfilling careers, not able to have a vision for one’s life.
• Fear of authority figures, and conflicts with authority. Powerlessness
• Mood Swings, Emotional Outbursts, Impulsiveness, Hyper-activity, Social isolation, Numbness, Callousness
• Lack of focus or concentration, Slow memory, lack of career direction, low performance and indecisive, Over-thinking, General disorientation
• Anger Issues: Aggressive, Passive passive-aggressive behaviour,  Submissive or fearful nature, high-strung or over-cautious personality, Explosive or irrational anger over minor triggers or irritability. Conflicts at work or relationships. Infantile behaviour or Peter Pan syndrome
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms, Anxiety, Hypervigilance, Panic attacks, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Nightmares, Insomnia
• Compulsive Behaviours, Eating Disorders, Body figure issues. Prone to Shame, Guilt or Comparison
• Acting out: Risky or Self-destructive behaviour, addictions. Promiscuous or Sex addiction. Multiple broken relationships. Fears around sex, gender or genitalia.
• Perfectionism, People Pleaser, Workaholics and Overachievers
• Parentification: Lack of playfulness, Overly Responsible and Overly Functional Adults
• Relationship problems: Attracting Co-dependent or Narcissist relationships, Rejection, abandonment or abuse. Affairs. Clingy, Avoidant, unemotional or Distant in relationships, Weak boundaries, Co-dependent relationships with Narcissists, abusive relationships, “Re-victimization” in relationships
• Somatic side effects: Unexplained aches or pains: Stomachaches, headaches, muscle tension, any other physical pains. Digestive issues
• Childhood trauma:  Emotional, physical and sexual abuse, absent parent — physically or emotionally. Alcoholism, Addiction or Mental Illness, Financial Stress. Parental abuse: Neglect, Dominating, Controlling parenting in the name of discipline and protectiveness.  Manipulative, Dismissive or Belittling parents. – “You are such a good girl, you listen to everything Daddy says!”  Narcissist parents: Using children for their emotional needs, Oversharing, Boosting their own low-esteem, Enmeshed – Emotional Incest; Playing victim, Guilt tripping, Shaming  and Gaslighting – “You are too sensitive,” “You are too needy!”, “You are lucky to have parents like us.”  and yes comparison, the classical manipulation tool, which is supposed to inspire a child. Vanity parents: who only give performance-based love create workaholic adults.

• Father’s Wounds & Mother’s Wounds: A parent’s behaviour impacts a girl and boy child differently. Traditionally, Fathers give a child a safe physical environment, while providing emotional safety. Now the question is: Was their own childhood wounded? Were they bullied, abandoned, rejected, or felt like failures, did they feel shame or guilt? It is likely in that case, that they would have passed on their dysfunctions to you directly or indirectly, even though you might have hated these very traits in themselves. That’s why, if you are a parent and believe in Conscious Parenting then Inner Child Healing is an important tool for a better future for your child. Impact can range from poor self-image, and low self-confidence to Self-critical, lack of ambition and passion. Weak boundaries, defensive nature towards owning mistakes, lack of self-care, to workaholism (constantly seeking approval – Critical or Narcissistic parent). Fear of being seen as weak: hyper-masculinity or toxic masculinity (aggressive or bully parent). Not taking responsibility, defensive nature towards owning mistakes, or shifting blame (critical or abusive parent), recklessness and inability to express emotions, lack of empathy, emotional numbness (emotionally available parent, lack of safe environment to express) and yes addictions
• Emotional numbness: When the home environment is unsafe for a child to express feelings, they become quiet. Or if the trauma and chaos are too much to handle for a child’s mind, they check out mentally or numb out emotionally in short. It is a survival mechanism, but you can’t have a good relationship with this. When a person shuts down emotionally, they can have an excellent external life, but in time can become a workaholic or an addict as an escape mechanism. Like people in bad jobs or dull careers, feel taking good vacations is enough to compensate for days spent in misery at work. When we are hurt, we often hope that time will heal everything. But if you have ever been hurt, you would know time doesn’t heal a wound. Unattended, it stays there and festers, and contaminates — yes your life. You have got to do the healing work — the only way out of the pain is through it. — Denial NEVER works, nor does numbing out. Why? Because the body stores the pain we don’t release. Many of us, may feel we can fix our minds, and our past on your own using may be a self-help book or a meditation retreat. But soon enough we realise we need a helping hand to guide us through this minefield littered with past memories, their ghosts and their dysfunctions. Your pain matters, and so does your journey. Every wound needs care, and if don’t, who else would? You can start healing even decades later — yes it is never too late to heal. Even death disclosures heal so many. Isn’t it?
• Childhood Sexual Abuse & Incest: Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) or Incest have added burden to clear, plus shame, guilt and impotent rage. Read more here.

The Wounded Child

The majority of so-called adults are not truly adults at all. Only older. It is the Adult Child. As they are being constantly influenced or covertly controlled by this unconscious inner child. An emotionally wounded inner child inhabits an adult body. Growing up, the inner child is denied, neglected, shamed, Abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to “grow up,” putting childish things aside. Thus all the positive qualities are lost. Lost childhood, and lost innocence need to be grieved. Because incomplete grieving can lead to a perpetual cloud of sadness. The Inner child is also wounded during childhood traumas and physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse. As it holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and anger. The Wounded child may cling to victimhood, righteous anger, refuse to forgive or take responsibility, find it easy to blame the past, parents and other parent-like figures it has attracted in intimate relationships, lash out regularly, bottle up and explode, or go downward in self-pity and delusional thinking about future. Wounded, unhealed inner child can show up as destructive behaviour:

•  Acting Out: Showing the same behaviour as the abuser (or parent), be it physical, emotional or sexual. For a child, whose solely dependent on their parents or primary caregivers for love, affection and protection, a lack of unconditional love can be damaging. On top of that manipulation, using love as currency, rejection, fear, intimidation, comparison or shame as tools of control also constitutes emotional abuse. This can lead for example people-pleasing behaviour, and eventually Co-dependent relationships with Narcissists. This itself has been the subject of many many books.

If a child has aggressive parents, he becomes aggressive to his siblings, peers, and later his colleagues, spouse, and children. Similarly, with controlling or over-disciplining parents, or emotionally absent parents, he keeps repeating the learnt behaviour thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

• Acting in: The Child now a grown-up Adult has forgotten the abusive behaviour he or she experienced or simply repressed it. But treats himself as his parents or abusers did. Children of Critical parents, or him whose love was only based on performance, never gave unconditional love, they become workaholics, and super achievers, but still have low self-esteem, and eventually burn out!

This would be cases of over-ambitious or workaholic folks with the inability to sustain relationships or have healthy ones. People are trapped in Self-sabotage just to get back at their parents and self-defeating behaviour and passive hostility. Eventually, it shows up as severe self-destructive symptoms: violent aggression and, sometimes, evil deeds, and addictions.

• Destructive behaviour in adults often bears the impetuous, impulsive quality of childish petulance (the Brat) or narcissistic temper tantrums. Or an infantile neediness, dependency, and dread of abandonment. Addictions and addictive or obsessive behaviour in relationships
• Irresponsibility and angry refusal to be an adult: the “Peter Pan syndrome,” or what Jungians refer to as a puer or puella complex. The archetypal Jungian concept of the puer aeternus (male) or (female) puella aeterna -the eternal child.

An unhealed inner child makes us feel Anxious, Afraid, Insecure, Inferior, Small, Lost, Lonely and unloved. Though healing is possible. Those needs not fulfilled by our imperfect parents or caretakers need to be examined and analysed. We just can’t ‘get over‘ our past traumas, sadness, disappointments and depression cannot be changed and must be accepted. Authentic adulthood requires both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of that inner child’s needs. To acknowledge, accept, and take responsibility for our feelings, and choices, loving and re-parenting our own inner child. This means providing discipline, limits, boundaries and structure, along with support, nurturance, acceptance, and indeed unconditional love.

Freedom from the past is POSSIBLE

Freeing ourselves from our past traumas through emotional and inner child healing, we start healing our negative interpretations of childhood traumas or maladjustments due to them, like survival mechanisms, defensiveness and aggressive traits no longer needed. Gradually we begin to acknowledge, accept and thus heal our dark impulses, compulsive habits; fears, self-destructive and self-sabotaging shadow traits and self-beliefs, and thus we step into our light. Isn’t it acceptance we are all looking for? And an expression of unconditional love. When we begin to lovingly embrace all that we are, we merge all our fragments into ourselves. Self-acceptance brings about this change and grows into self-love. A love that shows up in loving choices we make for ourselves. This is the journey to wholeness, to complete integration or yoga. Without confronting our shadow side we remain in the illusion that we only have light-filled traits and no shadow traits. Only to be reminded of them again and again, in the people, events and traits, we encounter and get triggered by repeatedly. Our irritations and repeated hurts are the wounds life is reminding us to heal. Only then do we get to experience inner freedom and also our true light. Peace and joy are clear by-products. We are all here to awaken. Everything in our life is designed to awaken us.

• Watch a TED talk on Adverse Childhood Experiences

and then take the following ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Quiz: Click here Three Types of ACEs

Other Sources of Stress

ACEs Increase Health Risks

According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences — ACE — study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for various health problems later.

Healing Our Inner Child:

During the Hypnotherapy session, you will experience the following:

• Dialoguing with the Wounded Child
• Trauma release
• Reprogramming the Trauma memory (Subconscious Reprogramming and Reimprinting)
• Learning Self-nurturing tools
• Learning new ways of responding to the same situations, subconsciously.
• Learning Reparenting
• Somatic Release
• Practical tools for responding to your Triggers

Why is Inner Child Healing so effective in handling triggers?

While talk therapy helps in catharsis,  emotional release thus achieved is not as effective because it can seldom reach beyond the conscious mind. We might understand our past and our dysfunctional behaviour, majority of the time changing those behaviour patterns becomes tedious. Meanwhile, the core trauma memories which are the actual origin of our triggers lie hidden deep in the subconscious mind. Another problem is that the subconscious is not logical or rational. So despite all our attempts to behave logically, as wise adults in moments of crisis we often lose it and afterwards end up feeling foolish, powerless, guilty or shameful. Because we suddenly start behaving like the hurt child — wounded child. To understand this further, let’s take an example of the most common, control issues.  A very controlled childhood, directly using the threat of abuse or indirectly using passive control, itself is the irrational part of our mind. That is why, knowing our triggers or dysfunctional behaviour patterns we seldom can be mindful enough when the crucial moment. Often in that state of crisis, we overreact. Or behave like the child who first experienced the trauma. Inner Child Healing is done through guided meditation, we visit key childhood memories in the Subconscious mind that formed your personality, and its problems.

HOW SHOULD YOU PREPARE FOR YOUR SESSION?

1. Meditate. Contemplate about your journey so far – How did you get here?
2. In a notebook, please note down key events of your life, chronologically like an autobiography of the young child within. This will help you understand what happened in the past, that made you who you are. We want you to own your narrative, so you can change it!
3.  Make sure you mention any traumatic memories, of abuse, emotional, physical or sexual. Events that have impacted you, so we don’t miss any important ones during healing.
4.  Most importantly, note the key dysfunctional patterns you feel you are carrying from your childhood. May be directly or indirectly inherited from either of the parents. Their world view, their labels, criticism, judgments and ideologies, etc., Besides fears, self-doubt, low self-esteem or anxiety.
5.  Issue, problems and dysfunctions that show up in your relationships  —Past or current. Personal issues or at the Workplace. In short, areas you would want to improve upon, things you’d like to overcome, and above all, how you would envision your future self — within.
6. Be as open and candid as you can, it would only help you. Avoid intellectualising or silver lining any event/s, write as you felt at the moment, what you at the moment, like an emotional record.
7. It goes without saying that whatever you share always remains confidential. However, if you feel there are a few things, you want to keep secret and don’t want to share, that’s OK. We respect that too. Share whatever you are comfortable with.
8. Share the notes or discuss them during the session, so we can plan your session according to your specific requirements. Journalling is not a requirement for the session, but rather a tool to aid your recovery. You can also make a short list of points.
9. Journaling is an important part of self-discovery, keep it as an ongoing record of your healing journey and personal growth. We highly recommend it. You can note the tasks given during each session and your own personal insights as you go along.

Healing Workshop for Gen Z: Age 15-20 years:

Introduction: Read more about the workshop here.

Testimonial & Feedbacks

• “Thank you for the Inner Child Healing session I had with you. I must say it was an uplifting experience. It took me to the roots of my problems and resolved the emotional issues I had been ignoring or suppressing for decades. After the session, I felt lighter and more confident in myself. I now have control over my social anxiety and no longer dread social situations. Thanks for bringing out the new me in me :)”

– Ahana *

• “I first saw Priyanka ma’am in an interview session at an online platform and clicked with her immediately! Going for Inner Child healing is the best decision that I have made so far in my life. I’m a spiritual person, a counsellor and I can literally see through things. Talk therapy didn’t help much and I knew there was something else I needed to try out to help myself. Inner Child healing helped me become more confident, I stopped doubting myself and overall it feels too good after the therapy. I have noticed that my heart doesn’t beat fast in anxious situations. That makes me more confident. I also don’t shy away in unplanned situations.”      – Anu *

* Name changed

• “I am really thankful to you for the wonderful therapy of Inner Child Healing and PLR. I find my life more merrier and peaceful after that. There are no more fears from men and I have made more male friends. I have developed acceptance towards them and now I find them friendly. I can work with them, and interact with them without any hesitation and fear. Also, I can see changes in my nature and attitude that now I do not worry much about things or people… rather I take things as they come from the universe… The obsession towards perfection is declining gradually and now I accept imperfections, and find myself comfortable in that… Also now I don’t feel lonely rather I feel free and look for peace inside myself to introspect myself whenever I am sitting alone. That day when I hugged my inner child and promised her to be with her forever, introspect I loved that and that made a difference I believe… Now I know whatever the situation will be, I will be there for myself and will take my stand… Trying to bring a little assertiveness but inner child healing made it easier for me. Thanks a lot, sir for your wonderful therapy..it worked well..I am happy and peaceful from inside… God bless you.”

– Kanika Khurana

• Somatic Therapy: Tapping into the Wisdom and the Healing Power of the Body
• Inner Child Healing and Shadow Work Workshops: Another effective way is Inner Child Healing Workshops which happen every few months (both online and offline). They’re over two days, and you meet people who share your wounds, share your story. So many of your issues you would find articulate in someone else’s sharing, their insights would heal you, and shift you to a new understanding that you would be amazed. Click here to learn more.
• Cancellation Policy: In case, you want to cancel a session, it needs to be done at least 24 hours in advance with a valid reason, so we can allot the slot to someone else. No-shows or late cancellations will cost you 50% of the session fee. For new clients, this would be 100 % of the fee. Details here