HistoryEver since its advents of the concept in the 1970s, Inner Child Healing has literally been a lifesaver for millions of people, who have been otherwise stuck in addictions, dead end jobs and relationships, issues of self-harm, self-sabotage and yes self-destruction. Though first suggested by Carl Jung, who talked about the Divine Child Archetype and Emmet Fox (wonder child), Inner Child Healing as we know now started taking shape in decades following the 1970s.
What is the Inner Child?Each one of us, has two archetypal personalities, The Adult and the Child. The Inner Child or our emotional self is our childlike aspect. It brings out our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, playfulness and creativity. Inner Child Healing is a powerful healing and therapeutic technique of hypnotherapy used to overcome dysfunctional childhood patterns and baggage of emotional wounds, failures, fears, trauma and abuse – physical, emotional or sexual. Further, if you have experienced dysfunctional parenting or family life – and experienced parental manipulation via their victimhood stories or narcissism, control (dominance), aggression or passive aggression, negative self-beliefs, dismissive or critical behaviour, neglect, abuse or abandonment (early loss of a parent or sibling) – Inner Child Healing could be way forward towards healing, peace and fulfilling relationships. Since all our childhood memories are stored deep in the Subconscious Mind, this makes hypnosis a perfect tool to access, heal and release, goes hand in hand with traditional talk-therapy. How we were treated as children, we end up treating others the same way — often unknowingly. Intellectualisation, numbing out, addictions and workaholism are coping mechanisms, which never let us fully heal, or lead a healthy life. Only when we are ready to feel, we are ready to heal. The wounds we don’t heal in ourselves, we end up passing them on to our next generation. Worse still, we spend the rest of our days playing the same shadow games our parents did, to gain what they didn’t get in their childhood — love, care, affection, approval, power or control. Thus begins the Shadow play for our various dysfunctional parts, which show up repeatedly — at workplace and relationships. Why? Because life is a mirror of our inner truths. If we don’t like what we see, fighting with the mirror image as futile as fighting our shadows. Shadow work is the only way to change the image within. Thus we can truly understand and overcome your inner conflicts and make peace with ourselves. The Child The Child is one of our four main Survival archetypes: Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur. The Child is also our Emotional Self, tell us how we look at life, and perceive life events. Issues of safety, survival, nurture, loyalty, and family and tribe all are rooted in the Inner Child. Often established in the Root Chakra or in some cases, the lower three chakras. Various form of the Child can be Wounded Child, Abandoned child, Neglected Child, Orphan Child, Dependent child, Lost child, Invisible Child, and through healing it can mature to become the Nature Child, Magical or Wonder Child and finally the Divine Child – knows that he or she is in fact a child of God. That is the journey of evolving Child archetype in each one of us. Starting from childish behaviour in adults, tantrums, sabotage, self-destruction and sulking, and developing to childlike — innocent, creative, quick to bounce back and playfulness, regardless of our age, is the hallmark of a healthy Inner child. The Wounded healer archetype also begins with the wounded child. The primary task in developing Inner Child archetypes is finding balance in dependency and responsibility: when to take responsibility of our life situation, when to have a healthy dependency, when we are able stand up to the group, and when to embrace public life and contribute to the society. Or we may become over responsible and develop co-dependent relationships, that again is dysfunctional Inner Child on an over drive.
Do I need Inner Child Healing?Most of our behavioural problems and triggers have origin is memories of early childhood, even teenage. Here’s a quick check list for Signs of Childhood Trauma, Abuse, Abandonment or Neglect or Inner Child Issues in Adults:
- Low Self-esteem, trust issues, Self-critical, negative self-talk, Self-hate and Self harm. Fear of external disapproval or rejection, Constantly seeking external approval
- Low self-confidence, lack of recognition, money issues, self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviour, self-harm. Stuck in fulfilling parents’ dreams, and unfulfilling careers, not able to have a vision for one’s life.
- Fear of authority figures, conflicts with authority. Powerlessness
- Mood Swings, Emotional Outbursts, Impulsiveness, Hyper-activity, Social isolation, Numbness, Callousness
- Lack of focus or concentration, Slow memory, lack of career direction, low performance and indecisive, Over-thinking, General disorientation
- Anger Issues: Aggressive, Passive Aggressive Behaviour, Submissive or fearful nature, high-strung or over cautious personality, Explosive or irrational anger over minor triggers or irritability. Conflicts at work or relationships. Infantile behaviour or Peter Pan syndrome
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms, Anxiety, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Nightmares, Insomnia
- Compulsive Behaviours, Eating Disorders, Body figure issue. Prone to Shame, Guilt or Comparison
- Acting out: Risky or Self destructive behaviour, addictions. Promiscuous or Sex addition. Multiple broken relationships. Fears around sex, gender or genitalia.
- Perfectionism, People Pleaser, Workaholic and Over achievers
- Parentification: Lack of playfulness, Overly Responsible and Overly Functional Adults
- Relationships problems: Attracting Co-dependent or Narcissist relationships, Rejection, abandonment or abuse. Affairs. Clingy, Avoidant, unemotional or Distant in relationships, Weak boundaries, Co-dependent relationships with Narcissists, abusive relationships, “Re-victimization” in relationships
- Somatic side effects: Unexplained aches or pains: Stomachaches, headaches, or muscle tension, any other physical pains. Digestive issues
- Childhood trauma: Emotional, physical and sexual abuse, absent parent — physically or emotionally. Alcoholism, Addiction or Mental Illness. Parental abuse: Neglect, Dominating, Controlling parenting in the name of discipline and protectiveness. Manipulative, Dismissive or Belittling parents. Narcissist parents: Using children for their emotional needs, playing victim, guilt tripping, shaming (“You are too sensitive,” “You are too needy!”, “You are lucky to have parents like us.”) and comparing. Vanity parents: who only give performance based love create workaholic adults.
- Father’s Wounds & Mother’s wounds: A parents behaviour impacts a girl and boy child differently. Was their own childhood wounded? Were they bullied, abandoned, rejected, felt like failure, did they feel shame or guilt? It is likely in that case, that they would have passed on their dysfunctions to you directly or indirectly, even though you might have hated these very traits in them. Impact can range from poor self-image, low self-confidence to Self-critical, lack ambition and passion, weak boundaries, lack of self-care, to workaholism, hyper-masculinity, addictions, toxic masculinity or feminity, recklessness and emotional numbness…
- Emotional numbness: When home environment was unsafe for a child to express feelings, they become quiet. Or if the trauma and chaos is too much to handle for a child’s mind, their mind block out what’s painful. It is a survival mechanism, but you can’t have good relationship in this. When a person shuts down emotionally, they can have an excellent external life, but in time can become workaholic or an addict as an escape mechanism. Like people in bad jobs or dull careers, feel taking good vacations is enough to compensate for a days spent in misery at work. When we are hurt, we often hope that time would heal everything. But if you have ever been hurt, you would know time doesn’t heal a wound. Unattended, it stays there and festers, and contaminates — yes of your life. You have got to do the healing work — the only way out of the pain, is through it. — Denial never work, nor does numbing out. Why? Because the body stores the pain we don’t release. Many of us, may feel we can fix our minds, and our past on your own using may be a self-help book or a meditation retreat. But soon enough we realise we need a helping hand to guide us through this minefield littered with past memories, their ghosts and their dysfunctions. Your pain matters, so does your journey. Every wound needs care, and if don’t, who else would? You can start healing even decades later — yes it is never too late to heal. Even death disclosures heal so many. Isn’t it?
The Wounded ChildMajority of so-called adults are not truly adults at all. Only older. It is the Adult Child. As they are being constantly influenced or covertly controlled by this unconscious inner child. An emotionally wounded inner child inhabits an adult body. Growing up, the inner child is denied, neglected, shamed, Abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to “grow up,” putting childish things aside. Thus all the positive qualities are lost. Lost childhood, lost innocence need to be grieved. Because, incomplete grieving can lead to a perpetual cloud of sadness. The Inner child is also wounded during childhood traumas, physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse. As it holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers. The Wounded child may cling to victimhood, righteous anger, refuse to forgive or take responsibility, find it easy to blame the past, parents and other parent-like figures it has attracted in intimate relationships, lash out regularly, bottle up and explode, or go downward in self-pity and delusional thinking about future. Wounded, unhealed inner child can show up as destructive behaviour:
- Acting Out: Showing same behaviour as abuser (or parent), be it physical, emotional or sexual. For a child, whose solely dependent on their parents or primary caregivers for love, affection and protection, lack of unconditional love can be damaging. On top of that manipulation, using love as currency, rejection, using fear, intimidation, comparison or shame as tools of control also constitutes emotional abuse. This can lead for example people pleasing behaviour, and eventually Co-dependent relationships with Narcissists. This itself has been subject of many-many books.
If a child had aggressive parents, he becomes aggressive to his siblings, peers, and later his colleagues, spouse, and children. Similarly with controlling or over disciplining parents, or emotionally absent parents, he keeps repeating the learnt behaviour thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse.
- Acting in: The Child now a grown-up Adult has forgotten the abusive behaviour he or she experienced or simply repressed it. But treats himself as his parents or abusers did. Children of Critical parents, or him whose love was only based on performance, never gave unconditional love, they become workaholic, super achievers, but still have low self-esteem, and eventually burn out!
This would be cases of over ambitious or workaholic folks with inability to sustain relationship or have healthy ones. People trapped in Self-sabotage just to get back at parents and self-defeating behaviour, Passive hostility. Eventually it shows up as severe self-destructive symptoms: violent aggression and, sometimes, evil deeds, addictions.
- Destructive behaviour in adults often bears the impetuous, impulsive quality of childish petulance (the Brat) or narcissistic temper tantrums. Or an infantile neediness, dependency, and dread of abandonment. Addictions and addictive or obsessive behaviour in relationships
- Irresponsibility and angry refusal to be an adult: the “Peter Pan syndrome,” or what Jungians refer to as a puer or puella complex. The archetypal Jungian concept of the puer aeternus (male) or (female) puella aeterna -the eternal child.
- Sexual Abuse: Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) or Incest have added burden to clear, plus shame, guilty and impotent rage. Read more here.
Freedom from the past is POSSIBLEFreeing ourselves from our past traumas through emotional and inner child healing, we start healing our negative interpretations of childhood traumas or mal-adjustments due to them, like survival mechanisms, defensiveness and aggressive traits no longer needed. Gradually we begin to acknowledge, accept and thus heal our dark impulses, compulsive habits; fears, our self-destructive and self-sabotaging shadow traits and self beliefs, and thus we step into our light. Isn’t it acceptance we are all looking for? And expression of unconditional love. When we begin to lovingly embrace all that we are, we merge all our fragments into ourselves. Self-acceptance brings about this change grows into self-love. A love that shows up in loving choices we make for ourselves. This is the journey to wholeness, to complete integration or yoga. Without confronting our shadow side we remain in the illusion that we only have light filled traits and no shadow traits. Only to be reminded of them again and again, in the people, events and traits, we encounter and get triggered by repeatedly. Our irritations and repeated hurts are the wounds life is reminding us to heal. Only then do we get to experience inner freedom and also our true light. Peace and joy are clear by products. We are all here to awaken. Everything in our life is designed to awaken us.
- Watch a talk on Adverse Childhood Experiences
ACEs Increase Health RisksAccording to the Adverse Childhood Experiences — ACE — study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for various health problems later.
Healing Our Inner Child:During the Hypnotherapy session, you would experience the following:
- Dialoguing with the Wounded Child
- Trauma release
- Reprogramming the Trauma memory (Subconscious Reprogramming and Reimprinting)
- Learning Self-nurturing tools
- Learning new ways of responding to same situations, subconsciously.
- Learning Reparenting
- Practical tools
Why is Inner Child Healing so effective in handling triggers?
HOW SHOULD YOU PREPARE FOR YOUR SESSION?
- Meditate. Contemplate about your journey so far – How did you get here?
- In a notebook, please note down key events of your life, chronologically like an autobiography of the young child within. This will help you can understand the what happened in the past, that made you who you are. We want you to own your narrative, so you can change it!
- Make sure you mention any traumatic memories, of abuse, emotional, physical or sexual. Event that has impacted you, so we don’t miss any important one during healing.
- Most importantly, note on the key dysfunctional patterns you feel you are carrying from your childhood. May be directly or indirectly inherited from either of the parents. Their world view, their labels, criticism, judgments and ideologies , etc., Besides fears, self-doubt, low self-esteem or anxiety.
- Issue, problems and dysfunctions that show up in your relationships —Past or current. Personal issues or at Workplace. In short, areas you would want improve upon, things you’d like to overcome, and above all, how you would envision your future self — within.
- Be as open and candid as you can, it would only help you. Avoid intellectualising or silver lining any event/s, write as you felt at the moment, what you at the moment, like an emotional record.
- It goes without saying that whatever you share always remains confidential. However, if you feel there are a few things, you want to keep secret and don’t want to share, that’s OK. We respect that too. Share whatever you are comfortable with.
- Share the notes or discuss during the session, so we can plan your session according to your specific requirements. Journalling is not a requirement for the session, rather a tool to aid your recovery. You can also make a short list of points.
- Journaling is an important part of self-discovery, keep it as an on-going record of your healing journey and personal growth. We highly recommend it. You can note the tasks given during each session, and your own personal insights as you go along.
Want to start your Healing journey?
- Location: Online over Zoom app OR at our Centres in Sector 57, Gurgaon, India Or Mahendra City, Bhopal, India
- If you interested in taking an Online/Offline session, send in your name and location to Email: email@example.com. Also send in brief profile and a simple photograph.
- Contact: Abhishek: +91 981020 6203, Priyanka: +91 959428 0000.
- Fee: Rs 7000 INR per session
- 2:30 pm – 4:30 pm, Monday to Saturday, subject to availability. So book at least a week in advance.
- Payment via GooglePay, Paytm, UPI, or Bank Transfer, whatever suits you let us know we will send details accordingly.
- Or you can opt for Zoom app, video call session, equally effective.
- Note: Usually max 2 – 3 sessions are adequate to handle a traumatic childhood. Before we proceed to deeper tools like Parts Therapy to handle inner conflicts and yes Shadow Work.
Testimonial & Feedbacks
- “Thank you for the Inner Child Healing session I had with you. I must say it was an uplifting experience. It took me to the roots of my problems and resolve the emotional issues I had been ignoring or suppressing for decades. After the session, I felt lighter and more confident in myself. I now have control over my social anxiety and no longer dread social situations. Thanks for bringing out the new me in me :)”
– Ahana *
- “I first saw Priyanka ma’am in an interview session at an online platform and clicked with her immediately! Going for Inner Child healing is the best decision that I have made so far in my life. I’m a spiritual person, a counsellor and I can literally see through things. Talk therapy didn’t help much and I knew there’s something else I need to try out to help myself.Inner Child healing helped me become more confident, I stopped doubting myself and overall it feels too good after the therapy. I have noticed that my heart doesn’t beat fast in anxious situations. That makes me more confident. I also don’t shy away in unplanned situations.” – Anu *
* Name changed
- “I am really thankful to you for wonderful therapy of Inner Child Healing and PLR. I find my life more merrier and peaceful after that. There are no more fears from men and I have made more male friends. I have developed acceptance towards them and now I find them friendly. I can work with them, interact with them without any hesitation and fear. Also I can see changes in my nature and attitude that now I do not worry much about things or people… rather I take things as they come from universe… The obsession towards perfection is declining gradually and now I accept imperfections, find myself comfortable in that… Also now I don’t feel lonely rather I feel free and look for peace inside myself to introspect myself whenever I am sitting alone. That day when I hugged my inner child and promised her to be with her forever, introspect I loved that and that made a difference I believe… Now I know whatever the situation will be, I will be there for myself and will take my stand… Trying to bring little assertiveness but inner child healing made it easier for me. Thanks a lot sir for your wonderful therapy..it worked well..I am happy and peaceful from inside… God bless you.”
– Kanika Khurana
- Inner Child Healing and Shadow Work Workshops: Another effective way is Inner Child Healing Workshops which happen every few months (both online and offline). They’re over the course of two days, you meet people who share your wounds, share your story. So many of your issues you would find articulate in someone else’s sharing, their insights would heal you, shift you to a new understanding that you would be amazed. Click here to learn more.
- Cancellation Policy: In case, you want to cancel a session, it needs to be done at least 24 hours in advance with a valid reason, so we can allot the slot to someone else. No-show or late cancellations, will cost you 50% of the session fee. For new clients this would be 100 % of the fee. Details here