Inner Child Healing

Inner Child Healing is a powerful healing and therapeutic technique of hypnotherapy used to overcome dysfunctional childhood patterns and baggage of pain, sorrow, trauma and abuse- physical, emotional or sexual. Further, if you have experienced dysfunctional parenting or family life – and experienced parental manipulation, control (dominance), aggression or passive aggression, negative self-beliefs, neglect, abuse or abandonment (early loss of a parent or sibling) – Inner Child Healing could be way forward towards healing, peace and fulfilling relationships. Since all our childhood memories are stored deep in the Subconscious Mind, this makes hypnosis a perfect tool to access, heal and release.

History

Ever since its advents of the concept in the 1970s, Inner Child Healing has literally been a lifesaver for millions of people, who have been otherwise stuck in addictions, dead end jobs and relationships, issues of self-harm, self-sabotage and yes self-destruction. Though first suggested by Carl Jung, who talked about the Divine Child Archetype and Emmet Fox (wonder child), Inner Child Healing as we know now started taking shape in decades following the 1970s.

What is the Inner Child?

Each one of us, has two archetypal personalities, The Adult and the Child. The Inner Child or our emotional self is our childlike aspect. It brings out our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, playfulness and creativity.

Theory of MindInner Child Healing is a powerful healing and therapeutic technique of hypnotherapy used to overcome dysfunctional childhood patterns and baggage of emotional wounds, failures, fears, trauma and abuse – physical, emotional or sexual. Further, if you have experienced dysfunctional parenting or family life – and experienced parental manipulation via their victimhood stories or narcissism, control (dominance), aggression or passive aggression, negative self-beliefs, dismissive or critical behaviour, neglect, abuse or abandonment (early loss of a parent or sibling) – Inner Child Healing could be way forward towards healing, peace and fulfilling relationships. Since all our childhood memories are stored deep in the Subconscious Mind, this makes hypnosis a perfect tool to access, heal and release, goes hand in hand with traditional talk-therapy.

How we were treated as children, we end up treating others the same way – often unknowingly. Intellectualization, like numbing out are coping mechanisms, which never let us fully heal, or lead a healthy life. Only when we are ready to feel, we are ready to heal. The wounds we don’t heal in ourselves, we end up passing them on to our next generation. Worse still, we spend the rest of our days playing the same shadow games our parents did, to gain what they didn’t get in their childhood – love, care, affection, approval, power or control. Thus begins the Shadow play for our various dysfunctional parts, which show up repeatedly – at workplace and relationships. Why?

Because life is a mirror of our inner truths. If we don’t like what we see, fighting with the mirror image as futile as fighting our shadows. Shadow work is the only way to change the image within. Thus we can truly understand and overcome your inner conflicts and make peace with ourselves.

The Child

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From childish to childlike–longing for the innocent and playfulness, regardless of age. The Child is one of our four main Survival archetypes: Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur.

The Child also establishes our perceptions of life, safety, nurture, loyalty, and family. Its many aspects include the Wounded Child, Abandoned child, Neglected Child, Orphan Child, Dependent child, Lost child, Invisible Child,  and through healing it can mature to become the Divine Child.

Core issue of all the Child archetypes is dependency vs. responsibility: when to take responsibility, when to have a healthy dependency, when to stand up to the group, and when to embrace communal life.

Signs of Inner Child Issues: Most of our behavioural problems and triggers have origin is memories of early childhood, even teenage.

  • Low self-esteem, Self-critical or fear of disapproval
  • Low self confidence
  • Fear of authority figures, conflicts with authority.
  • Relationships issues
  • Aggression or Submissive or fearful nature, Control issues, all comes from childhood experiences with primary and secondary caregivers. Besides these obvious trauma like emotional, physical and sexual abuse can also be effectively healed through Inner Child Healing.
  • Emotional numbness, when a person shuts down and becomes workaholic or an addict as an escape mechanism. Like people in bad jobs or dull careers, feel taking good vacations is enough to compensate for a days spent in misery at work. When we are hurt, we often hope that time would heal everything. But if you have ever been hurt, you would know time doesn’t heal a wound. Unattended, it stays there and festers, and contaminates – yes of your life. You have got to do the healing work – the only way out of the pain, is through it. No shortcuts here. Denial never work, nor does numbing out. Why? Because the body stores the pain we don’t release. Many of us, may feel we can fix our minds, and our past on your own using may be a self-help book or a meditation retreat. But soon enough we realise we need a helping hand to guide us through this minefield littered with past memories, their ghosts and their dysfunctions. Your pain matters, so does your journey. Every wound needs care, and if don’t, who else would? You can start healing even decades later – yes it is never too late to heal. Even death disclosures heal so many. Isn’t it?

The Wounded Child

little girl staring at easter eggs

Holds the memories of abuse, neglect, and other traumas that we have endured during childhood. May blame the relationship with their parents for all their subsequent dysfunctional relationships. Lost childhood, lost innocence need to be grieved. Because, incomplete grieving can lead to a perpetual cloud of sadness. 

On the positive side, the painful experiences of the Wounded Child often awaken a deep sense of compassion and a desire to help other Wounded Children. From a spiritual perspective, a wounded childhood cracks open the learning path of forgiveness. Also often the Wounded healer archetype begins with the wounded child.

Self-pity, a tendency to blame our parents for any current shortcomings and to resist moving on through forgiveness. It may also lead us to seek out parental figures in all difficult situations rather than relying on our own resourcefulness.

• An inability to get out of the pains of childhood
 
• A tendency to always seek out parental figures
 
• A tendency to fantasize about the childhood that could have or should have been – “What if..?”

Majority of so-called adults are not truly adults at all. Only older. It is the Adult Child. As they are being constantly influenced or covertly controlled by this unconscious inner child. An emotionally wounded inner child inhabits an adult body.

Growing up, the inner child is denied, neglected, shamed, Abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to “grow up,” putting childish things aside. Thus all the positive qualities are lost.

The inner child is also wounded during childhood traumas, physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse. As it holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears and angers.

Wounded, unhealed inner child can show up as destructive behaviour:

Acting Out: Showing same behavior as abuser (or parent), be it physical, emotional or sexual. For a child, whose solely dependent on their parents or primary caregivers for love, affection and protection, lack of unconditional love can be damaging. On top of that manipulation, using love as currency, rejection, using fear, intimidation, comparison or shame as tools of control also constitutes emotional abuse. This can lead for example people pleasing behavior, and eventually Co-dependent relationships with Narcissists . This itself has been subject of many-many books.

If he had aggressive parents, he becomes aggressive to his siblings, peers, and later his colleagues, spouse, and children. Similarly with controlling or over disciplining parents, or emotionally absent parents.

Acting in: The Child now a grown up Adult has forgotten the abusive behaviour he or she experienced or simply repressed it. But treats himself as his parents or abusers did. Children of Critical parents, or him whose love was only based on performance, never gave unconditional love, they become workaholic, super achievers, but still have low self esteem, and eventually burn out!

This would be cases of over ambitious or workaholic folks with inability to sustain relationship or have healthy ones. People trapped in Self-sabotage just to get back at parents and self-defeating behavior,  Passive hostility. Eventually it shows up as severe self-destructive symptoms: violent aggression and, sometimes, evil deeds, addictions.

Destructive behaviour in adults often bears the impetuous, impulsive quality of childish petulance (the Brat) or narcissistic temper tantrums. Or an infantile neediness, dependency, and dread of abandonment.

Irresponsibility and angry refusal to be an adult: the “Peter Pan syndrome,” or what Jungians refer to as a puer or puella complex. The archetypal Jungian notion of the puer aeternus (male) or (female) puella aeterna–the eternal child.

Sexual Abuse: Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) or Incest have added burden to clear, plus shame, guilty and impotent rage. Read more here.

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Can a child have a mature relationship? A career? An independent life?

Yet it is demanded to, and fails. An unhealed inner child makes us feel Anxious, Afraid, Insecure, Inferior, Small, Lost, Lonely and unloved. Though healing is possible. Those needs not fulfilled by our imperfect parents or caretakers need to examined and analysed.

We just can’t ‘get over ‘past traumas, sadness, disappointments and depression cannot be changed and must be accepted. Authentic adulthood requires both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of that inner child’s needs.

To acknowledge, accept, and take responsibility for our feelings, choices, loving and re-parenting our own inner child. These means providing discipline, limits, boundaries and structure, along with support, nurturance, acceptance, and indeed unconditional love.

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Freedom from past is POSSIBLE

Freeing ourselves from our past traumas through emotional and inner child healing, we start healing our negative interpretations of childhood traumas or mal-adjustments due to them, like survival mechanisms, defensiveness and aggressive traits no longer needed.

Gradually we begin to acknowledge, accept and thus heal our dark impulses, compulsive habits; fears, our self destructive and self sabotaging shadow traits and self beliefs, and thus we step into our light.

Isn’t it acceptance we are all looking for? And expression of unconditional love. When we begin to lovingly embrace all that we are, we merge all our fragments into ourselves. Self-acceptance brings about this change grows into self-love. A love that shows up in loving choices we make for ourselves.

This is the journey to wholeness, to complete integration or yoga.

Without confronting our shadow side we remain in the illusion that we only have light filled traits and no shadow traits. Only to be reminded of them again and again, in the people, events and traits, we encounter and get triggered by repeatedly. Our irritations and repeated hurts are the wounds life is reminding us to heal.

Only then do we get to experience inner freedom and also our true light. Peace and joy are clear by products. We are all here to awaken. Everything in our life is designed to awaken us.

Do I need Inner Child Healing?

Watch a talk on Adverse Childhood Experiences

and then take the following ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Quiz: Click here

Three Types of ACEs

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Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; Credit: Robert Wood Johnson Foundation

Other Sources of Stress

ACEs Increase Health Risks

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According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences — ACE — study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for various health problems later.

Take the ACE Quiz – But Learn What It Does and Doesn’t Mean

Healing Our Inner Child:

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During the Hypnotherapy session, you would experience the following:

  • Dialoguing with the Wounded Child
  • Trauma release
  • Reprogramming the Trauma memory (Subconscious Reprogramming and Reimprinting)
  • Learning Self-nurturing tools
  • Learning new ways of responding to same situations, subconsciously.
  • Learning Reparenting
  • Practical tools

 

Why is Inner Child Healing so effective in handling triggers?

photo of guy kissing a baby
Self-love is freedom.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

While talk therapy helps in catharsis,  emotional release thus achieved not as effective because it can seldom reach beyond the conscious mind. We might understand our past and our dysfunctional behaviours, majority of times changing those behaviour patterns become tedious.

Meanwhile the core trauma memories which are the actual origin of our triggers lie hidden deep  in the subconscious mind. Another problem is that the subconscious is not logical or rational. So despite all our attempts to behave logically, as wise adults in moments of crisis we often loose it and afterwards end up feeling foolish, powerless, guilty or shameful. Because we suddenly start behaving like the hurt child – wounded child.

To understand this further, let’s take an example of most common, control issues.  A very controlled childhood, directly using treat of abuse or indirectly using passive control, itself is the irrational part of our mind. That is why, knowing our triggers or dysfunctional behaviour patterns we seldom are able to be mindful enough when the crucial moment. Often in that of crisis we over react. Or behave like the child who first experienced the trauma.

Inner Child Healing is done through a guided meditation, we visit key childhood memories in the Subconscious mind that formed your personality, and it’s problems.

 
In age regression, we release the stored hurt and emotions and reprogram dysfunctional or harmful beliefs. Thus we unlock the origin story of such behavioral patterns and begin to heal.
 

HOW SHOULD YOU PREPARE?

 
1. Meditate. Contemplate about your journey so far.
 
2. In a notebook, please note down key events of your life, chronologically. So you can understand the developing story of your life.
 
3. Make sure you mention any traumatic memories, of abuse, emotional, physical or sexual. Event that has impacted you greatly, so we don’t miss any important one.
 
4. Also contemplate on the key patterns you feel you are carrying from childhood. Fears, self-doubt, low self esteem or anxiety etc.
 
5. Issue, problems and dysfunctions that show up in your relationships. Past or current. Personal or at Workplace.
 
6. Be as open and candid as you can. Whatever you share always remains confidential. However, if you feel there are a few things, you want to keep secret and don’t want to share, that’s OK. We respect that too. Share whatever you are comfortable with.
 
7. Share the notes one or two days prior to the session, so the therapist can study and plan your session accordingly to your specific requirements. Or bring along your notes if it is a physical session.
 

Need help or Healing?

Book a session: Whatsapp or message us with your issues and life story in detail at +919810206203, +919594280000 (during working hours 11 am -7 pm IST), or mail us at innerjourneys11@gmail.com.

Duration: 2-2 1/2 hours approx.

Fee: Rs 6000 INR per session

2:30 pm  – 4:30 pm, Monday to Friday Subject to availability. So book at least a week in advance.

Or you can opt for Zoom app, video call session, equally effective.

Note: Usually max 2 – 3 sessions are adequate to handle a traumatic childhood. Before we proceed to deeper tools like Parts Therapy to handle inner conflicts and yes Shadow Work.

Inner Child Healing and Shadow Work Workshops: Another effective way is Inner Child Healing Workshops which happen every few months (both online and offline). There over the course of two days, you meet people who share your wounds, share your story. So many of your issues you would find articulate in someone else’s sharing, their insights would heal you, shift you to a new understanding that you would be amazed. Click here to learn more.

 

Ⓒ 2021 Inner Journeys Within and Beyond — All rights reserved

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