Surrender is not weakness; it is the quiet strength of accepting people and situations exactly as they are. It is choosing not to fight with reality, not to mould it to our comfort, not to bargain with “if only they were different.”
True surrender is not an escape, nor a denial. It is not running away, and it is certainly not dissociation. It is the courageous decision to stay present — to feel what arises, to acknowledge it, to sit with it until it speaks its truth. It is holding yourself gently when the waves come, instead of abandoning yourself in the storm.
When we make peace with “what is,” frustration loosens its grip, disappointment softens, and the mind clears enough to see the path forward. We stop pouring our energy into changing others — a battle that was never ours to win.
In that space, something beautiful happens: we become the steady presence we always yearned for in others. The empath. The safe place. The one who listens without judgment. And we realise we were searching for ourselves all along. Because this kind of companionship — unconditional, patient, loving — was never meant to be found outside. It had to be cultivated within, where it can never be taken away.
Stay. Listen. Love. Because in the stillness of surrender, you have already arrived home.
Recognising the Noble Adversary
One of the important turning points on our spiritual journey is encountering engaging rather than recognising our “noble adversary”. It is an archetypal shift perspective, where we defy the logical attitude of the mind and ego structure and begin to step into the deep waters of inner work and test our soul stamina.
A noble adversary is someone who has been placed on your path to peace by your soul as a way to ensure you heal, understand and overcome what you had planned to do as a soul. In short, our toughest lessons come from our noble adversaries, at least learning opportunities, as often we convert them into our greatest enemies as they appear on the face of it. For Gandhi, the British were the noble adversary, for Krishna, the Kauravas, do your dharma or soul’s duty without falling into the trap of resentment, bitterness, victimhood, or vanquish or despondency.
A noble adversary knows all our ‘buttons’ bring out your weaknesses or fears and shortcomings instantly; you cannot ‘wit’ your way around it or ignorance. Someone who pushes us relentlessly to muster all our strength and courage. Someone who challenges us to stay in our light when falling into the darkness of thoughts or intentions is easy.
When feeling like a victim would be so natural and easy, thus missing out on the warrior journey. The warrior of light is one who not just fights external darkness but internal as well. Seeing not as an enemy but rather a sickness and a temporary absence of light. The moment you turn the noble adversary into an enemy, you lose the plot, even though you might have a righteous victory.
Many people who encounter their noble adversary, whether necessitated by karma imperatives or by the soul’s decision to take on tough lessons, to empower itself by seeing its own shadow, vengeful or unforgiving side, for example, we free ourselves from the very darkness we deem to fight externally. The path of exit or the light warrior stance is to stay in the knowing that there is no darkness, only light that has been missing temporarily.
A noble adversary will help us transcend all that we want to, weaknesses or darkness, as they have mastered all our buttons, pressed them vociferously, triggering us, suddenly we lose our calm, composure and light.
He makes us aware of the buttons we need to heal through inner work and healing old wounds so that rewounding can be avoided. In the end, it frees us from both strength and weakness, light and dark. Thus, free from judgment and a repetitive cycle of crime and retribution. Many people who have been trying to overcome their past for years, in truth, find it hard to forgive. Actually want their perpetrators to suffer or take revenge, thus remaining trapped in the cycle of karma. Such souls have revenge lifetimes, where they go to the same to the perpetrators, thus, the cycle continues across lifetimes. If you are finding it hard to overcome your shadows or dark side, which the noble adversary is triggering, or simply judgments.
Inner work involves slowly developing enough humility to reach a state of gratitude for a particular aspect or trait. Then, once you reach that state, see if you can go further and pray for him.
In the Bhagwat Gita, Krishna talks of surrender in one of its key verses:
“सर्वधर्मान् परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज।
अहं त्वां सर्वपापेभ्यो मोक्षयिष्यामि मा शुचः” – BG 18:66
Abandon all varieties of dharma and just surrender unto Me.
I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.
Surrender makes growth organic. Relax into what is, the moment, without rushing to avoid or fix. We find ease and release entitlements as well. We realise the pace of our healing and growth is best left to God. Once you learn to stay in gratitude for the noble adversary, ease will come in instead of reactivity.
When you can see the noble adversary as a teacher, you will be free and achieve true equanimity.
“You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognise the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.”
– Thomas Merton
Myths about Surrender
Is surrender giving up, resignation?
No
Surrender is always out of love, to love. An act of empowerment and in divine oneness. The weak cannot achieve it, nor can the arrogant. It demands indomitable courage, fortitude, stamina and yes, humility. Life-long. A life in surrender becomes a prayer, a hymn and a journey into choiceless awareness.
A wave finally realises it is the ocean. Thus, it is simply relaxing into the flow of life, into an inner-directed or guided life. It is accessing inner wisdom at every choice, every life situation and following it fearlessly.
Accepting everything as it is, without doing anything about might be a lofty ideal in surrender or a life of devotion. But practically, it is not possible to endure everything passively. Not many have succeeded. We all want things to change or get better in our lives. Or to grow in a certain part of our lives. Unless we have simply chosen to be complacent or smug. Not bothering to look within and shift our inner dynamics, to see its effects on the outside. Such people become stagnated. Never rising.
Growth is never easy, nor is healing.
Some people take let go and let God to literally, to suit their passivity, stubbornness or plain laziness. They would rather just be.
I have met people who, after decades of ‘just being’, are just as miserable, only more bitter.
Passivity seldom changes life. Your life hasn’t changed because you haven’t. Change and life will follow. Change is the only you can make and bring.
Surrendering is fine. But useless when we are not listening. To what we are guided to do, every day. Surrendering cannot become a way of shrinking from the responsibilities of our lives, personal, family and community. Escapists often use it as an excuse to do nothing, different and new and still hoping in vain and handing over all our worries to a higher being will do the trick. Hoping someone external will come and save them, become their saviour.
So they wait ceaselessly, forgetting that sometimes we have to become the angel we have been praying for, become the miracle and the friend in need.
In truth, true surrender is surrender to the divine will. Accessed through intuition. So start today, clear your mind and your heart and ask your guides or inner self to tell you what should change or unlearn first.
Start there. Mind is not where healing and redemption take place; it is the soul. Be still and connect with your listening to its dictates. It will guide you to dawn, no matter how dark life might appear to you.
It will do so one small choice at a time. A small nudge, a hint, a fleeting thought, feeling or an inner knowing. Regular prayer and meditation practice help us connect deeper with passing years. In the end, developing a clear mind and heart is our job; guidance is always available.
Only you can change yourself. Whenever you are ready and willing to take the next step, make a different choice in life.
What does Surrender mean in Relationships?
Surrender is the art of accepting people and situations exactly as they are — without fighting, without wishing they were different just to suit our own comfort. The moment we release that inner resistance, peace begins to replace the struggle.
When we make peace with “what is,” we free ourselves from the cycle of frustration and disappointment, and open the door to clarity and solutions. We no longer waste our energy trying to change people — something that was never in our control to begin with. And in letting go of that hope, we find something even more valuable: our own inner freedom. When we begin to see divine perfection in each relationship, only then can we recognise the role in the dysfunctional dynamics. That is when we ask questions like: What do I have to learn from this? More importantly, what do I have to change in myself? to grow through our relationships.
Inner Journeys 