It’s difficult to heal something which was never acknowledged by the people around you.
It’s tough to heal something for which no one ever apologised for.
It’s not easy to cry alone for your hurt and nurse your wounds all by yourself, we all look for someone to cry with us and for us.
We often feel we are the only one who suffered and went through all the suffering all by ourselves.
No one saw me when I was crying in pain, no one held me when I was breaking down each moment every day and no one heard me when I was calling for help. I was abandoned by everyone.
Sometimes the trauma is deep rooted and memories are so humiliating and hurtful that your whole existence shakes and shivers at the thought of revisiting it and attempting to heal it.
You shut all the doors, windows even the key holes of the past in order to build yourself again and become the stronger, wiser and empowered version of yourself.
Alas!! All goes in vain because as they say, “Your past never goes away, it haunts you and visits you again and again…”
It happens with everyone, as none of us is beyond hurt and pain, sorrow and shadows of our past. Isn’t it?
The day you decide to heal that past, which has haunted your present every single day, consciously or subconsciously, you gather the courage to face it, deal with it and heal it.
The day you visit the memories again with the intention and courage to heal it.
What if, you realise that you were not alone, who went through the abuse, the humiliation and the pain?
What if, you were not alone while crying in pain, your head was resting on someone’s shoulder?
What if, someone was listening to you, when you were calling for help?
What if, when you were breaking down into bits and pieces someone was carefully picking up all the pieces and creating a new version of you?
The version, you in your present know, as the stronger, wiser and empowered part of you.
Does the fact that you never for a single minute suffered alone changes anything for you?
Well, it did for me! I realised…
When you surrender to divine then He suffers with you, cries for you, gathers you and transforms you.
It’s not you alone, who faces the challenges or goes through the trauma. It’s God who holds you in his arms and walks you through that phase.
You may ask “Then why did he let me suffer?”
For which, the answer is simple, because you had to learn a lesson or had to clear a karma.
But the most important thing is that He never left you alone, not even for a second. He kept walking by your side holding your hand and when it became difficult for you to walk, He lifted you in His arms and carried you till you gained the strength to walk on your own again.
The day, I realised this truth I could let go of all my trauma, hurt and pain.
The day, I understood that not even for a single day he left my side… Everything changed for me.
As with this truth also came the wisdom that when you surrender, you don’t remain you …
You become one with him.
His fragment dwells in you and you become a part of his being.
That is the moment when you realise neither your joy is personal to you nor is your sorrow.
He the divine parent shares it all. When you are happy, He dances with you and when you are sad, He does sits by your side cries with you… most importantly for you.
All that you were looking for from the outside world, your family and friends was actually always there with you. It was you who could not see it or understand it.
So, My dear friends… decide to heal yourself and this time visit your past holding your guides hand and I assure you… you shall meet that parent, friend, companion or counsellor, you missed all this while.
Realisation of his presence with you will heal the oldest of your wounds and most deepest of your scars.
That very moment, when the child inside you realises, that it was never abandoned. Its parent was always there holding its hand… it will heal on its own.
As that child now, know that it was always taken care off and loved unconditionally, protected and guided.
Take a step forward and this time to go back and heal your past as without having a closure with your hurt and wounded self, you will never be able to live your present.
No matter how strong you are, there will always be a weak spot, which when hit will crack and shatter you just as a mirror breaks down into a thousand pieces, with a minor blow on its surface.
You are not alone in this. Let me assure you. You never were.
Love and Light