“I don’t need Relationships”
“Relationships are not important to me.’
“I’m happy alone, I have everything..
I have everything as per me”
These statements we often make in our youth, good health, wealth or naivity. Or when are unable to get over past hurts, feelings of victimhood. Sometimes it can be sheer narcissism, which excessive self love and boundary drawing can take us to.
So, yes drawing boundaries is good, and so called getting rid of “toxic people”. But let’s have balance here and some humour. What if, we are equally hurtful, self-centred, and the toxic person, people warn about. We haven’t acknowledged our shadow side. In trying keep ourselves safe, we have forgotten that a relationship is also about the other person, their needs and hurts. If you are looking for someone just like you in a relationship, you are not ready.
Else we would find in time that a fortress is safe, but can be isolating. So a balance is important. Plus, it is hard to heal your heart in vacuum. No man is an Island. So empathy is the door way. And a leap from victimhood.
Though not every story is same.
Aphorisms as general advice can be tricky, when it comes to relationships. Hence I avoid. Many people take it as a substitute to therapy or truth.
Every one has a person truth, back story and a healing journey. Sometimes it also requires karmic healing, for clearing past life baggage and blocks. So now along Inner child Healing, LBL or Shadow Work, I often suggest Karmic Healing to such clients.
Only when the karmic back story is clear, I can guide someone better, that too after consulting with spiritguides. After 20 years in this, I am less sure about presuming the truth of a new client or depth of their suffering to some sum up in pithy aphorism or advice. I am realising it is less profound, and more hard work. 😊🌺
– Abhishek Joshi